I read this story and I thought
I should share…….. don’t lose hope!!!
It’s the second Monday of
the month, and time for another success story! This is another one of those
stories that just made me smile from ear to ear. As a dear friend in our
community keeps saying, it’s just God’s way of showing off! Here’s Adeline*’s
story!
I met my husband when we were both 32, and we
were married at 34. On our wedding night, we threw away all our condoms, and
started trying to conceive. At the back of my mind, I knew that we…or rather
I…was starting rather late, but this made me intensify all our efforts. I
Googled everything I needed about conceiving in one’s 30s, and made sure we had
enough sex to cover all our bases!
After a year, nothing had happened so we went to see our doctor. We had the usual day 3 and day 21 tests for me, and sperm analysis for hubby. My tests came back fine. My husband’s came back nearly fine, but there was an issue with his sperm motility. However, the doctor said he had known men with far less motility go on to conceive, so we brushed it aside.
However, I was lectured sternly about my
weight. At 5 feet 4 inches, I weighed a hefty 110kg, and my BMI was over 40, so
I vowed to lose some weight. Our doctor then referred us to a fertility
specialist.
We proceeded to see the specialist, and she was awful! She was very rude and extremely condescending. Again, I got another lecture about my weight. I was tempted to tell her “I look in the mirror every day, I know I have a weight problem! Duh!”. Instead, I listened through gritted teeth. She also scolded us for leaving it so late to have children. Like that was our fault!. By this point we were nearly 36. It wasn’t a CHOICE, it just happened that way.
Anyway, I was ordered to lose some weight, and was booked for a HSG, to see if my tubes were clear, and a transvaginal ultrasound. The HSG was the most painful experience of my life. I have never cried so much and I nearly broke my husband’s hand. The dye did go through, but it was incredibly tough…. and we later found out why. The ultrasound revealed I had cysts of my ovaries.
We proceeded to see the specialist, and she was awful! She was very rude and extremely condescending. Again, I got another lecture about my weight. I was tempted to tell her “I look in the mirror every day, I know I have a weight problem! Duh!”. Instead, I listened through gritted teeth. She also scolded us for leaving it so late to have children. Like that was our fault!. By this point we were nearly 36. It wasn’t a CHOICE, it just happened that way.
Anyway, I was ordered to lose some weight, and was booked for a HSG, to see if my tubes were clear, and a transvaginal ultrasound. The HSG was the most painful experience of my life. I have never cried so much and I nearly broke my husband’s hand. The dye did go through, but it was incredibly tough…. and we later found out why. The ultrasound revealed I had cysts of my ovaries.
In October 2008, two years after we had
started TTC, I had a laproscopy to remove the cysts. During the operation, they
discovered that I also had cysts on my fallopian tubes and that my tubes were
twisted, which was another reason the HSG had been that painful! The recovery
was pretty rough, as it took about a week before I could sit on a chair, in a
bath, or get off the toilet on my own!
When I was relatively recovered, we started
TTC again. We tried everything! Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs), temperature
charting, cervical position checks, cervical mucuos checks, sex every other
day, sex every day, sex only on the ovulation day. Everything we knew, we
tried. But nothing worked.
So, I decided to face the weight thing! I
started a popular weight loss program, and lost about 30kg. We had decided to
go for IVF, but for some reason, we were not able to save money as quickly as
we’d hoped. As we were struggling with money, the weight started to creep back
on, and soon I had gained back about 20kg of the 30kg I’d lost. At this point,
I gave up on the idea of having children and started conditioning my mind to
the fact that it would be just the husband and me.
As luck would have it, we were finally able
to save up for IVF, but the doctor we saw wanted me to be at a healthy weight
before proceeding. He told me to try to lose the 20kg I had regained, taking me
down to a reasonable BMI of about 32, after which we would first of all start
with IUI, before proceeding to IVF if it didn’t succeed. Filled with more
motivation, I resumed the aggressive diet, and desperately tried to lose weight.
Then in December 2010, 4 years since we had been TTC, I had the strangest stomach pains. It felt like I really needed to use the toilet, but even when I did, the pain still persisted. I mentioned it to a colleague of mine, and she immediately said “You’re preggers!”. Yeah right! I forgave her tactlessness, because it was a relatively new job, and she had no idea how long I had been TTC. A few days later, it occurred to me that my period was over a week late, so I decided, what the heck, to test anyway! I didn’t even bother telling my husband I was testing.
It was like a dream when that second illusive line appeared. I honestly felt like I was seeing things…having a mirage! I must have gone through 20 test sticks before it finally hit home! My husband was over the moon, but chose to remain cautiously optimistic. In August 2011, our son was born. The most perfect baby in the whole wide world…and we couldn’t be happier. I was a few months shy of my 39th birthday when he was born, and by the time we celebrated his 1st birthday, I was expecting his brother.
Then in December 2010, 4 years since we had been TTC, I had the strangest stomach pains. It felt like I really needed to use the toilet, but even when I did, the pain still persisted. I mentioned it to a colleague of mine, and she immediately said “You’re preggers!”. Yeah right! I forgave her tactlessness, because it was a relatively new job, and she had no idea how long I had been TTC. A few days later, it occurred to me that my period was over a week late, so I decided, what the heck, to test anyway! I didn’t even bother telling my husband I was testing.
It was like a dream when that second illusive line appeared. I honestly felt like I was seeing things…having a mirage! I must have gone through 20 test sticks before it finally hit home! My husband was over the moon, but chose to remain cautiously optimistic. In August 2011, our son was born. The most perfect baby in the whole wide world…and we couldn’t be happier. I was a few months shy of my 39th birthday when he was born, and by the time we celebrated his 1st birthday, I was expecting his brother.
After so many years of disappointment, of
being told we would never be able to conceive on our own, our family is
complete. I wish I could say what had changed to allow us to get pregnant, but
in all honesty I think it was pure luck. Never did I stop longing for a child,
and every single month I would pray for one. Thank God I didn’t listen to all
the people who told me to “Stop thinking about it”, “Relax”, and “It will
happen”. We might probably still be trying if I did! Oh, and I have been able
to maintain a healthy 72kg
Wonderful
and inspiring story! I think the morale here is never, ever, give up! Do
everything that is within your power, and keep on trying. Hopefully one day,
you will hit the bullseye!
Good luck, everyone! Have a great week ahead!
Photo Credit: Dreamstime | Bryan Creely
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