8.
"Be careful."
Saying
this while your child is balancing on the monkey bars at the playground
actually makes it more likely that he'll fall. "Your words distract him
from what he's doing, so he loses focus," says Deborah Carlisle Solomon,
author of Baby Knows Best.
If you're feeling anxious, move close to spot him in case he takes a tumble,
being as still and quiet as you can.
9.
"No dessert unless you finish your dinner."
Using
this expression increases a child's perceived value of the treat and diminishes
his enjoyment of the meal itself -- the opposite of what you want to
accomplish, says Parents advisor David Ludwig, M.D., Ph. D.D.,
director of the New Balance Foundation Obesity Prevention Center at Boston
Children's Hospital and author of Ending
the Food Fight. Tweak your message along these lines: "First we eat
our meal and then we have dessert." The wording change, though subtle, has
a far more positive impact on your child.
10.
"Let me help."
When
your child is struggling to build a block tower or finish a puzzle, it's
natural to want to give him a hand. Don't. "If you jump in too soon, that
can undermine your child's independence because he'll always be looking to
others for answers," says Myrna Shure, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology
at Drexel University in Philadelphia and author of Raising a Thinking Child.
Instead, ask guiding questions to help him solve the problem: "Do you
think the big piece or the little one should go at the bottom? Why do you think
that? Let's give it a try."
Reference:
Michelle Crouch
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